In my Creative Advertising class we were given an odd assignment. We were to write two eulogies for ourselves that came from other people. This assignment was very deep for me. I have struggled with my mental health for a while and as a result of that, this assignment became a little too real. My professor gave us the option to. do something different if we had a reason, and I think I could have done something different, but I wanted to see if it could somehow help me. Surprisingly, it did. Thinking about how my mom and little sister would feel if I were to die was incredibly real for me. I was extremely emotional whilst writing the eulogies, but it gave me an opportunity to step back and think about how I make the world a better place rather than how the world would be a better place without me.

 

Eulogy From My Mom 

Sarah always wanted to make everyone happy. She was a “people pleaser,” and while this was one of the best things about her, it was also one of her biggest downfalls. This was because she was not happy until she KNEW everyone around her was. If she couldn’t figure out how to turn someone’s day around she took it upon herself to try everything possible. And when that didn’t work she would beat herself up about it for days, sometimes she would even bring up that person and situation months later. Little did Sarah know, that just her presence filled people with joy. Her inability to stop smiling at people and her infectious laugh could light up a room, and the jokes she mumbled under her breathe would have people gasping for air. 

Her happiness was infectious from the time she was a baby. Anytime someone would hold her, she would gently bite their chin and hold on for as long as they would let her. This was her form of a kiss, and she would giggle all while doing it. Even before she could speak, she was always trying to spread love and joy to everyone she encountered. As she grew a little older, her methods changed. When she was a toddler, her go-to method was singing to people. Oh boy. I love my Sarah, but this was some method she had. Singing was not her forte, but it made people happy so she just kept on going. Everyone who knew Sarah knew that they would be fighting back laughter anytime they were around her. Her biting, singing, and the gravity in her head made for one great combo. But at the same time, the people who knew Sarah often didn’t know the struggles she went through as she got older. 

When she was young, she didn’t fully understand that just because someone was smiling didn’t mean they were happy, and as she realized this she began to put a huge weight on her shoulder that no young girl should have to carry. In middle school and high school she thought that anyone she couldn’t please hated her, and no matter what anyone said to her, she couldn’t be convinced otherwise. And in college she couldn’t comprehend the hatred some people held in their hearts, or why they would turn that hatred on her. Our happy, bubbly, giggly, smiling Sarah was secretly miserable for a long time. She always felt like she wasn’t good enough and was constantly trying to figure out how she could be. But she was good enough. She was way more than enough. She helped everyone she encountered, she made everyone feel included, and she accepted and forgave others no matter what they had done in their past. She was so loving and all she wanted was for everyone else to be loving as well. So please remember that as you leave here today, that is what she would want. We love our little Sarah Bear. 

Eulogy From My Little Sister 

Sarah was my best friend. She was there for me through everything and always seemed to know the right thing to say when I was having a bad day. I truly had the best big sister ever. Whether it was taking me shopping, out for ice cream, helping me with volleyball, or letting me borrow her clothes, she always made sure I was happy, and she never let anyone make me feel anything less than amazing. She would stand up for me to anyone no matter what they did or said, she was like my guardian angel all through grade/middle school and for the brief time we were in high school together. 

Sarah going off to college was a struggle for me: I no longer had someone I felt like I could talk to about everything going on in my day-to-day life. Sure, I could call her, but it wasn’t the same as laying in bed with her and talking at the end of a long day. She called and facetimed as often as she could, and I knew she was busy so I took what I could get and we made it work. Sarah always made everything work. If you needed help with something or if you just needed to talk through something her ear was always open, and it didn’t matter if she had only met you that day. She tried as hard as she could to make sure everyone around her was struggling as little as possible. The happiness and satisfaction of others was where she found her joy. She knew that she couldn’t brighten everyone’s day, but she was still going to try her hardest to put a smile on everyone’s face. 

She often used her own struggles to help others find their happiness. By leading retreats and speaking out about mental health, she hoped everyone would find the courage and strength to speak up and find the help they needed. But she took this upon herself to such an extent that she sometimes forgot she needed to focus on herself too. Sarah shared everything with me, even when it was hard for her. I didn’t realize at the time, but this was because she never wanted me to go through the same things she had. The mistakes she made and the bridges she had burned haunted her, and she did everything possible to make sure I wouldn’t experience the same struggles. This goes to show of selfless she was. She recognized her mistakes and did everything possible to make things rights, and when she couldn’t do that, she would use them as a learning experience for others. 

I miss my big sister so much. Our late night drives, bedtime conversations, volleyball practices, shopping trips, mischievous adventures…sometimes without mom’s permission, and much more are memories that I will cherish forever. She left this world too soon, and the place she occupied in my heart will never be filled. I love my big sissy.